I roll over and stretch in the cool sheets. Chilled, I pull them closer to my neck. As I wake, I hear the shower running, smell coffee brewing, and realize it’s morning. During these half-asleep, half-awake times my mind wanders. Thoughts flit all over — today I think about movies.
I think about how some scenes are so detailed; so nuanced they must come from real events in the scriptwriter’s life.
This takes my mind on the trail of pondering my life. What if it was a movie? There would be happy days, and years of numbness and pain.
There were long stretches when I wondered how I could survive the pain. Life took me through lonely valleys where heartbreak showed up on all sides.
“But He was always there for me…with skin off or on,” I thought. For one dark night, which lasted years, God gave me Rich Mullin’s music and lyrics to comfort. For another he gave me a professor who let me tell my story. He gave me friends who could hear the junk, even when others could not. I remember a teaching assistant who told me he saw something in me. My sensitivity and my strength. Another who told me never to lose that: the way I see and feel the world. God gave me a pastor, gentle and true.
Gradually, I Iearned pain was necessary. It would be my greatest gift. It was God’s crafting and chiseling, and my plunder. For His glory. I would look back and be assured of God and his goodness.
This may sound silly, but recently I was in Switzerland hiking. After many hours, we came upon an old woman selling cold beer and cheese. It’s a metaphor for God showing up with sustainance.
Still cradled under covers, I conclude my movie would not be called, “Heartbreak,” “Valley,” or “Desert-place” – my movie would be called “Blessed.”
What would the movie of your life be called?
Lucille Zimmerman is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Littleton, CO and an affiliate faculty teacher at Colorado Christian University.
She is also the author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World. Through practical ideas and relatable anecdotes, readers can better understand their strengths and their passions—and address some of the underlying struggles or hurts that make them want to keep busy or minister to others to the detriment of themselves. Renewed can help nurture those areas of women’s lives to use them better for work, family, and service. It gives readers permission to examine where they spend their energy and time, and learn to set limits and listen to “that inner voice."